I’ve been stuck.

For one, G and I have both filled out dozens of applications online and physically for him for a job and we have not got ONE call in responses to all this effort. It is extremely discouraging but of course not surprising with the market. Even my sister, a skilled worker who has been laid off since July has only got one call from all her efforts in applying and sending in her resumes.  Such a tough time to try to enter the workforce as a young person. I remind G that this is temporary that things will swing back to where they once were but we have to be patient and keep hammering at it, that something eventually will pay out. So, I’m now scanning on the ads daily for him. But I know since he does not have any experience in the workforce he is like the last consideration on the toteum pole, which has made me consider volunteering again for him. If he could volunteer for a few months he could use that as work experience. But searching for volunteer programs is also proving to be a chore in itself….

I’m going to have G go back to the unemployment county office that we went in the attempt to get him a job through the youth programs becuase they have another program that may help but I’m already getting myself prepared for major frustrations, but G has got to have something on the table. He is getting way too isolated again and does not have anything to do. Prior to the  G.E.D. I would put him in non-credited classes and stuff like that just to keep him apart of something out side the home.

He is still very much wanting to move to England and right now has his mind set on getting a Visa (I’m thinking him not having a job may be a blessing because if he were to make enough money to buy a ticket to England it could be difficult trying to reason him out of it).

He has given me such grief about not have a visa. I tell him that I will get some more info on it. I have already explained he needs to be a skilled worker that they are not just going to let “anyone” come into their country after buying a plane ticket. And I’m trying to get him to focus on school again. And I think I may be getting  some luck here.

I have decided instead of the associates degree which may be too much for him to take on at this time, to get him in a certificate program that is more focused on the skills of what it’s for then all the other stuff that comes with an associates degree (electives). I have found such a school and one that I think would work well for him. However, it is in Denver, and it will be crawling with a lot of low income people. Not to take away the opportunity this school is established and has been here for 100 years. So, it’s not a vocational school I would have to worry about going out of business in a couple of years and the degree from them become viturally worthless or at least questionalbe since the school would be defunt.

It’s a pretty decent little educational instutaiton. I would rather he go to the community college up the street (truly within about a 20-30 minute walking distance) but they don’t have the certificate prgm that I want him to get and that’s HVAC. I think this would be a terrific career for  G and one he would do well at. I have hope for it, not high hopes but not pie in the sky hope either.

I did talk to G about all this without going into details (it’s better that way) of the certificate prgm I want him to take. That it’s 6 to 12 months. If he is willing to work his but off 6 months most likely though 12. I explained that this is one job I see always in the want ads. And it pays pretty dang good too. And I think the school may be able to put him in some internships (but that’s a guess).

As far as the doctors are concerned I’ve growned sort of despondent of it all. But I have not given up on it altogether. I just can’t help but feel that all my work in this area, has not really left me ever any better off with G than where I first started. It’s all just such a murky little adventure that never really pays off. I still think G’s on the spectrum, I know he is. But I also know he is so low, I can’t get a proper diganosis. Plus I feel that G’s age may have a lot to do with some of the traits I see and there are moments where he comes off totally in pyche with everything around him. So, where I’m going with this is although I still think I should pursue therapies for G, I am holding back because I’m thinking that once G is working, going to school and getting more years under his belt I will be able to dismiss the “teenage” angst/attitude from the spectrum disorder tha the may be dealing with and there is a chance G may “grow out” of a lot of the austicky traits I see now, as he matures and starts seeing the world with more maturity. I’m seriously suspecting that G becoming a man, will solve many of our issues with his aspergers. I think he’ll still have to deal with the social aspects of his disorder but I don’t think he’ll be rejected because of it, if he is able to approach the world with more sense and sophistication I think will come with age.

I know I sound like I’m taking a shot in the dark but it’s this way:

1.) either the job and school stuff (when we finally get there) will prove to be too much and we will have to get more therapy for him to cope with these things regardless of my hope for him “growing out of it”

OR

2.) He will seem to “grow out of it” and will be able to succeed in life with the mild form of spectrum disorder that he has.

It’s kind of that simple.

The only thing that is questionable is how long can G remain on my insurance so if we need to revist doctors and etc… next year may we? Plus the whole England thing has been such a strain — will he be able to finally accept that this is something he has to work towards and it will take time to work towards it. ? This is very important and one reason why I may be calling the doctor (shrink) about talking to him about it…even as I write this I think this is one apt with him we should have to help him undersatnd this is not something so easily done as he wants to believe. And has been threatening to do himself harm (it’s not alarming to me since I just don’t think he would, but still something I need to deal with)

I heard Obama extend young people’s insurance eligability regardless if they are in full time college. I really hope this is the case.

So, as anyone can see reading this journal entry on G, I am still slugging it out and in a place of more questions and obscurity than I am with any real answers. That I we are getting by by getting by.

Once and I pray that it will happen G is successfully functioning as an adult with his own life and aspirations and a level head on how to conduct himself and achieve his goals, I will try to help other young men like him (teenagers young kids) in getting a grip on their lives. I know how easily it can be to lose your kid to his own demons if he/she is neglected to deal with them alone and truly throwing yourself in with them is really the only way to pull them through it so that when they are ready to take control of their lives they haven’t thrown their lives away and they are in a place they can do so (in other words they are not in jail, they don’t have records, the are not in the grips of desperate depression or hopelessness that leads to sucide or self destructive behaviors.)

Happy to report….

That interview seminar benefited G. My sister took him. She wasn’t all that keen on having to take him. I asked her if she thought he could have found the room on his own. She said, ‘we asked the information desk’. I don’t think G would have and so my feeling is yes, having her take him was a good idea.

G wonderfully open now and willing to try new things, walked right in. It was a small room of 6 women (middle aged) and slightly older than middle aged woman conducting the seminar.

G brought home papers. He read them in front of me. I asked him how it went, he didn’t give me much to go on, which tells me it went ok. If he hated it, I’d be sure to know, he’d be sure to make sure I knew.

He would read aloud the questions that he had on these papers and I would answer them (quietly thinking what he might want to say). Example:

“What kind of environment do you like to work in?”

My answer:  “A busy one, where there’s lots to do.”

G had so much vim and vigor when he got home from this seminar (I think he was encouraged) he wanted the phone #

For that clearance store he applied as a stocker. For some reason it wasn’t listed and I had to call just about every store to get someone who knew it mind you while I’m at work. I gave it to him and he called and the manger there said, “he hasn’t had a chance to look through the applications yet”.

 

G asked me, “when should I call back.”

 

I told him Thursday but then thinking about it on the way home I thought if he didn’t give the guy his name to have him call tomorrow and say “Hi this is G and I was calling to find the status of my application”.

 

I told this to G, but he brushed me off. I guess he can call Th. and I will again tell him to make sure he says his name so the mgr will recognize it when he goes through the applications.

 

I really hope G gets this job. I also hope it’s only about 20 hours a week, more than that could be daunting for G.

 

G also brought up how they asked what his “major” is. He seemed challenged by the thought and in a positive way. He asked me, “what’s my major.”

 

I answer, “right now it’s general, a general associates”. I’m thinking does he not listen to anything I say. How I tried to get him into the A.A.S. for electronics but couldn’t get him to agree but he agreed with the general one so I brought home all the criteria necessary for a general associates. And how he scoffed and said, “I just want a job.” And as I pressed him to do the math, he was agitated and told I was causing him “mental stress” — that the harmony in our home was being threatened so I decided to not enroll him in classes this semester and instead concentrate on getting him a job?????

 

Anyway, this reaction from G about his major let’s me see he is really not against getting one. It just may take a little time to get him to take the first step commit to classes and put in the work necessary to complete them.

 

I need to look out for more seminars, work shops for G. He is open to them which is AWESOME. 5 years ago, he’d balk. I also still want to find a good hypotist. I think this may be helpful for G. As far as therapy yes that is still on my plate but I’m rescheduling the apt with Dr. Molly since I have to train at work that week and since school work is no longer an issue I don’t need “accomdations” right now. But it will not be neglected. I’m just going to delay the therapy part of G’s life a few weeks.

Posturing

I have got my sister to go with G to the interview senimar at the junior college today, which is good because I don’t want him to get lost. Even though I had a flyer with the room it’s held at I could see G not going because he can’t figure out where it is. So, I got my sister to go. It’s only an hour. I told her to be upbeat about it and positive. She gives me a frustrated nod, but I have too. G will follow her lead if she is annoyed about having to take him.

Last night, I was disappointed when I came home and saw G had not changed his clothes, let alone shower before he took his application into the clearance store that is hiring a stocker. He at least took it in and said, he gave it to the guy but I was so aghast that he didn’t at least change his shirt.

He ran upstairs right after telling me he just dropped it off and didn’t talk to a manager. Later I found out something was said between this guy and G but G said he couldn’t remember so it must not have been anything signifigant.

I was actually comforting myself a bit over the fact that although it’s a struggle getting G what he needs in life to make a life for himself, the fact that he has someone coming home and questioning him and showing disproval over for instance, not at least changing his dirty shirt before leaving the house, is so important and good in it’s own right. That at least I can offer that.

I was also thinking just yesterday morning, that I’m a pretty good mentor to G. That getting up and going to work everyday, paying bills, working out and taking care of the house are all good examples that must be making some impact on him. I know that my parents going to work everyday and getting up and taking care of us, impacted me and has made me a productive person. It’s when you find people who just don’t do anything or try to do anything or aspire or be responsible at all are people that are such bad examples for their kids. Thankfully, I’m not in that boat. Thankfully, it’s wired in me to be a productive, responsible member of society.

small steps

I saw that a clearance/dollar store near to us is hiring a stocker! I am taking G there tomorrow to apply. The store is always busy and it looks like the type of place that G would do well at. That he would have enough work to do to keep him occupied so he wouldn’t have to shoot the breeze w/the other employees unless he felt like it. It is that type of store. The one, no one who works there really wants to talk to anyone; they just want to collect their paychecks. I really like the idea of him working there. I like the idea of him working there and getting out from under my feet. And of course gain independence and some confidence in his abilities. The good thing is I think he has a good chance. These places want people to be able to work any time — so G having a free schedule is going to help plus being 18 is equally good for him. The GED is just an added bonus I’m supposing.

I also saw that the community college is doing a Free seminar on interviewing on Tues. and I told G I want him to go to that. I’m going to always urge him into seminars and workshops to help with his social/networking/interview skills. He needs them.

I’m really glad I have decided that I am not putting him in school this semster. I was really surprised to see a few people in my life when I told this to not give me a look of “good thinking”. Mostly, they were weary of the idea. And it makes me laugh. Do they not hear me? My constant, over amplified, incessant whining of trying to get G to do anything.

I explained that w/o getting G to get on board with it, I’m not putting that strain on me. I aleady have enough strain on me as it is.

Keep it simple I have decided (just last night validating my own thoughts on the matter). G getting a job, and getting therapy (family therapy as well as individual) is most important. And yes, the diagnosis of autism is also important.

G has been obsessing about Digimon again. We watched two episodes, the Japanese version he found on the playstation network. He mentions Digimon every day between 10 to 30 times a day.

His hands are stimming too, but not as much as they were in July. I think the heat was making him uncomfortable thus the stimming (we don’t have AC). But he was stimming a bit today too, from excitement of watching Digimon in the Japanese/original form.

I haven’t gotten my “essay” on why I think G is autistic for Dr. Molly. But now that my focus is back on G, I will have it within a week. Or at least a really good portion of it.

Once G is working and has been able to get into the groove of keeping a job (regardless how long that takes) I will probably suggest he go into HVAC work. I’m not sure what he needs for this, but it wouldn’t be as much schooling as I was thinking before. It’s just a thought at this point.

New idea

this has been turning in my head a bit lately. I think I’m going to find someone to hypnotize G. I know this won’t be an end all cure all but I think even the suggestions given to him in a relax setting, like “when you’re in crowds and around people mingling and you feel confused, suddenly you feel calm. You are not feeling uncomfortable…” will be helpful. Will allow him to visualize it and then when it happens he will find himself more calm.

I believe in visualization and think it can work. Not like a miracle but a tool ….

 I also think G would be a good candidate right now, becuase he is so open to new things and he loves attention.  Even when he hates it he loves it.

Or something like that. That’s G’s biggest problem social I think. Is in a room full of stangers he becomes so rigid, stotic, and yes even anti-social. He told me a long time he rather be this way then be humilated.

 

Ok so now, I have to figure out who, where, how and when….

Long Range Goals

G and I went to a Rockies game last night. It was nice and G enjoyed it. He wanted to stay till the very end I think but we left at the top of the last inning since the Rockies were just getting creamed. I think there was a very positive feeling in G that we were able to come because he got the tickets through the youth program. But crowds are difficult for him and thus, I was on egg shells much of the time. One of the reasons why I shy away from going anywhere with G (crowded places) is because he does get nervous and if I try to talk to him when he is all wrapped up in himself because the noise is too much of there are people getting drunk or a skateboarder zooms by too close, he will react in an offensive manner at me if I try to talk to him or reach out to him. But this is how it’s been for a long time. It just gets hard when I lean over a bit and say, look at that, pointing to someone on the field catching fly balls from Zinger (mascot) for some prize or something or ask if he wants an ice cream cone and he reacts hositle towards me. Last night, he would swing his hand out at me, not hitting me but lashing out as if he is going to hit my face, and another time, he actually took a jab at me, it didn’t hurt but again, it’s hard to bear. I’m hoping that Dr. Weiss can prescribe some type of medication that will make these reactions less likely.

We took the light rail there and back and G asked me about England. I researched to see how easy it would be for us since we have family. Well, since they are not in our immediate circle (they are cousins and aunts and uncles) it may not be enough to get residency by this way. Only if my aunt and uncle were to “vouch for us”. Basically show the UK that they are 100% responsible for us, even fiancially. Well, I would never put them in this spot of even asking. My aunt and uncle take care of their little flock so much as it is this burden even as coming in as a question would cause them some disturbance. G seems to think that since we have family there he should be able to fly over and be in the country like he is in the states, even if he didn’t live with them, that just them being there gives him the right to be there. He said, he would just buy a ticket there and he wouldn’t leave.

So, I tried to explain to him some of the things I found out about trying to move to England. How it will be a year or two (or 3 or 4) before we can move there. I actually do like the idea of moving to England and I think it’s going to be my long term goal. As much as I love Colorado and the states, I love the idea of moving to England and living there even if it’s only for a year or two and traveling around that wonderful country. I don’t have really any strings attached to Colorado so there isn’t any reason why I shouldn’t give it a go. This is truly the first time I have ever really considered moving to England. I always felt I belonged in Colorado. But I just have so many memories here in Colorado and many are not so good and some just haunt me day after day. But moving to another state doesn’t really appeal to me either. Moving to England very much appeals to me.

I tried to explain to G that he would need a student or a work visa. To get either he needs to become a skilled worker or a student. He brushed off these ideas so quickly and said that he would talk to my sister about it. I think if I can get him to understand that this is a long term goal he will be more willing to work in school and become a skilled worker. Even if he ends up not getting it all complete I can move there and take him with me in a year or 2 or 3….

If I can get this plan in action, get G to think long term, he may be more willing then ever to work towards something he wants and that I think is what is missing in his life right now, that is keeping him from at least trying to branch out.

I’m hoping that we can again pick up on the school thing and I will have him tested this Sat. for it and then, hopefully, he’ll be willing to start the 2 classes I wanted him to take before. The thing is I cannot enroll him unless he is willing to put some effort towards it or it will put way way way toooooo much strain on me. Maybe I’ll just have him do the math… I’ll figure something out. I’m hoping we can get this on the road.  I want to start getting grants for him. I’m sure there are many he can apply for.

and another fork in the road….

I have decided  to gie up on the idea of getting G to school. He just won’t commit the way I need him too and I don’t have the stanimia or the time or energy necessary to pull him through it.

Giving up that idea, opened me up for other ideas and I think at this point I have decided that I am going to move to England with G. I am in a rut here in Colorado, I feel trapped and I need the change as well. So, I”m going to start trying to figure how to make it happen.

I’ll still take G to therapy and still try to get the diagnosis (the house has been under seige since G found that the playstation network has original japanese versions of digimon) but I’m going to find out how this can happen.

Tomorrow i’m taking G to a baseball game. He won tickets through that youth program. He drove there to get them without calling me, and I was totally ok with the whole thing and actually pretty thrilled he did it all on his own with out consulting me.

Turbulance

On the 3 flights I took to get to and from Boston, I had very little turbulance but home today, I seem to be experiencing nothing but turbulance and I’m in state of confusion and nervousness.

My summer is now over. I have a year ahead that is going to demand more from me with regards to G than I think any year previous.

1st I want G to understand he has autism. Since I have seen him have such clarity and rational thinking, I know that if he is aware of this condition he will be able to make a life for himself by managing it. I know he has the ability. But not knowing, and taking off in his flights of fantsy or not knowing when dealing with difficult situaitons could cause him to become extremely reclusive and difficult. So, therapy is front and center and since Colorado still lags far behind when it comes to therapy for aspie people it’s going to be a year of a lot of frustration on my part trying to find G the rescoures he needs to make a life for himself. I may need to consider moving to a different state to get better benefits for G.

2.) G’s education. Although he is only taking 2 classes this year, he is being a mule about it and became almost menacing with me when we were talking about it and I was trying to dig a commited effort from him with regards to school. I will need Dr. Weiss’s help to get G to a point of such a commitment until then it’s me forcing him and he will not take on the deed himself. He isn’t against it, it just better be something easy for him like the GED was, which it’s not. Not really. Attending school is about organizing and taking an active role in one’s learning. Neither of which G has any intention of doing. The first step here is to get G to take the assement test (required) and then I’ll enroll him for a math class that starts 9/22. the other class interpersonal communication starts around the same time. Math is Tues and Thurs. 1:00 – 1:50. Interpersonal communication starts on 9/26 for Sat. from 9 to 1. 

3.) The youth program through the state called and G may be going on an interview here soon. I am happy about this. But worried to of course. We got his hair cut and waiting to hear back. G needs to make sure he writes down the address and gets it programed into his GPS. I will be at work and will be unable to help him get there for his interview.

 

So, my summer is over and my trips to Vegas and to Boston too. And now I’m looking to the future with a lot of work towards G. Not to mention the work I have to do as a fulltime software analyst. I’m also hoping to find a new job. But it’s G that is the top of my priorities and it’s what is mostly going to be on my mind these next 10 months until summer comes back and I can again think about vacationing and partying. I am no longer going to drink because I want to remain completely focus on G and also I want to keep my fiances under control so when the summer does roll around I can have some fun!

So, outside of taking care of G and making sure he is getting what he needs as far as help to build a life, I’m going to be taking it easy, and taking care of myself and reading and writing lots lots lots!

Positivity

I worry a great deal about G and last night I caught myself enjoying his company, he was so pleasant. I decided to write this blog about him with regards to the positive aspects of G. As much as I worry about G. the kid has a wonderful sense of humor and he exhibits a playfulness that is extremely social and good natured. This is so important and truly it is one of his qualities that keep me so connected to him. He was talking about some old Southpark episodes (I watch southpark with G. so he can learn about some subject matters that just happen to be apart of the world we live  in, even though there are many episodes I find uncomfortable) and he was so cute when he was talking about them; he was charming and sweet. I thought then I have to write about this. I have to make sure that I am not presenting G as a hopeless case. Because he’s not. He exhibits a lot of wonderful traits that are friendly and social and with some assistance I really think he can find happiness and relationships that will give him a healthy outlook on life.

 

I took G to the electronics class on Monday. I did not have my ducks in a row. This is typical of me these days. I’m so distracted with everything. I am at a time in my life where G should be able to handle a lot of his life on his own and there is a part of me that wants to naturally start directing my own interests that I have neglected for so long in caring for G. But there is still so much work to be done with G. I’m hoping I can still manage to pursue my interests when I can in little steps.

 

Anyway, we arrived at the school about 45 minutes before the class started. G was behind me as I walked around trying to find out where the program director’s office was at. Everything was starting to close up (for enrollment, registeration). The program director is the guy I talked to back in May who has a son he believes to be aspergers as well. Well, wouldn’t you know, “he is no longer with the college.”

 

I was disappointed and tried not to feel down considering the youth prgm I tried so hard to get G into failed to bring anything and now this.

 

I wasn’t sure what to do. I tried to enroll G quickly on the computer there but I couldn’t figure out how to get the class attached to his application. So, I said, “Come on let’s just go. I’ll put you in a different class some time this week”.

 

G. was quiet and followed me around and helped with the application process. He was not criticizing me a lot like he normally does when I don’t seem to have things together and things are not running smooth. He was rather patient, more patient than I’m used too.

 

So, as we are walking out of the  college, he stops. I turn to him and said, “Do you want to go to the class.”

 

“I don’t see why you want to go when you have already dragged me here.”

 

‘Well, then let’s have you go. We can find out if you can just sit in the class.”

 

We went back to where the class was, and I popped my head in and asked the teach if “my son could sit in” and that I tried to register him but was having some trouble. He agreed.

 

So, G went to that class. I really feel that electronics is what he needs — I really believe this will be his best career choice.

 

He called when he was done and I picked him up. He told me he didn’t want to take it. But don’t worry this does not alarm me at all. This is typical when it comes to G’s approach to stuff I want him to try. It’s later on, he decided to do it. It happened with the anime summer prgms I put him in a couple of years ago. I had to drag him to them (this is when I was trying to find him things to do out side the home since I withdrew him from high school). So, now that he is exposed to it, it’ll work on him and if he does think it’s a good match, he will tell me at a later time.

 

The one thing that struck me so hard and good about G Monday night was the clarity in his body language and communication. His thoughts were so organized and he seemed very mature. And this happens with G. I see this side of him come out not a lot but frequently and it’s a side to him that makes me feel like he can make it. That he can become an adult and behave as an adult and have a normal life.

 

We talked about what classes he will take this semester. I am late on this, I should have done this stuff weeks ago. But I found that he needs to first take an assessment test to find out what math class/english class he should start with. There are a couple of late starting math classes. The math classes I have in mind are actually to prep him for actual college math he needs for his degree at a later time.

 

G. says just get me a list of the classes I need to take for a general associates.

 

I did. There is another class I want him to take that is on this list is “interpersonal communication”. I think this will be a good class. This is also a late starting class. And while I’m thinking about it I better contact the instructor and find out what it involves so if it has to be tweaked (class work) it can be for G. It should be ok, there are many online versions of this class.

 

I showed G the list last night and talked to him about the two classes and he saw all the criteria involved in getting a degree and he started wiggling away from the idea of it. And I told him that I know it seems like a lot but this will get you on your way. And if it does seem to be too much then we can have you just get a certificate of some kind but you need an education. G. said, “but I have a GED. I just want a simple job.” I said, “and you will have a simple job, while you’re going to school. School is so important G. you need it for your development. Plus I want you involved in other things and around people and get you out of the house. Taking a couple of classes won’t hurt but help.”

 

He listened, he thought about it, he understood what I was saying and the work that he would have to do to make this happen and I could see he was wanting to tell me flat out, he wasn’t going to do it. But he seems willing enough to try.

 

But again, his response, and the friendliness last night in his mood, and the clarity he showed on Monday with the class, were all very positive signs on G’s capability to make decisions and have a sound thoughtfulness that will get him through difficult situations.

 

Today, I see Dr. Weiss. G’s clock is all screwed up and I’m not going to go home and rush him out the door when he is barely funcational because he is not sleeping when he should be. Besides, I have a lot to say to Dr. Weiss about G and everything involved in that. I will update later about this apt.

I missed our apt with Dr. Weiss

Too much on my plate. I thought it was at 4:45 on Friday and it turned out to be at 10:45. So, I called and left a msg apologizing profusely to Dr. Weiss’s voicemail. I’ve left babbling voicemails for him before and as I’m babbling I’m thinking shut up, shut up … but it’s weird how I have a hard time disengaging from his voicemail.

So, tomorrow I will call and see if I can get us in this week.

I have a month to get all my notes together for Dr. Molly. For some reason it’s a really hard thing for me to approach. I think it’s because even though I know G is aspie I hate having to “prove” it. But I know I absolutely must do my best to do this because G needs to have this lifeline. He needs a social worker, he needs programs, I can’t get these things without the proper diagnosis of aspergers, no matter how I and Dr. Molly hates labels.

On Wed. I was very upset about G because he told me that he was going to kill himself if he doesn’t get out of this country in 60 days. I am struck by these words even though there is not a real formed intent in them because I can see aspie people becoming very isolated and sucidial and I am aware of this danger, so aware of it, it terrifies me.

So, I was on the phone crying to my sister about G and how concerned I am for G. And I was very upset. Well, lo and behold the next day one of our favorite elders came for a visit. He left 6 months ago and he showed up here and hung out with G which G really enjoyed. Then, yesterday, last night Greg stopped over. He said his mom said it was too late to drive up to Brigton (it was almost 10 pm) and if he could stay here. I said of course and so he was here overnight. I honestly felt that God is giving me a pat on the back to let me know He is here with me through all this. I know those who are not religious or spirtual in nature would find this hard to believe but it really is how I feel. I couldn’t do any of this if it wasn’t for God’s grace. I just need to remember that even when things seem really hard.

I know this is a very precarious time in G’s life. This is when I really need to help him build his social skills, when I need to get him involved in groups and therapies to help with his relationships and his communication. If I neglect this G could become an adult unwilling and unable to build any of these things. He is still young enough to be influenced, and taught. 10 years from now, w/o such attention to these matters, he could be totally reclusive. So, I am so aware of the importance of G getting the help he needs now, and him understanding he has aspergers — all this is like a bell going off in my head everyday.

One of the things that jolted me into this entry is a preview of a new movie called “Adam” which is about an adult man who is aspie.  And how much I identify with what they were talking about and the snippets they showed.

I am enrolling G in a class like math or english for this week. I want it to be one day a week. Tomorrow he is going to sit in the electronics class. I am going to meet up with the teacher prior to the class, he has a son he believes is aspie and make sure it’s ok that G sits in to see if he likes it. He probably has already decided he won’t but I find that even if he rejects stuff like this at first, he comes around later.